"I'm glad I'm not a mom"

I was talking to a male friend recently and in the course of the conversation he said "I'm glad I'm not a mother". I didn't understand what he meant at first. He is a parent. A divorced father of a young daughter about 7 years old. I asked what he meant and he said, "who do your children go to the most?" "Me," I said.

Now don't misunderstand my friend, he is a very devoted and caring father. His daughter means the world to him. As she gets older and more womanly issues arise I have no doubt he could handle it willingly and with sensitivity. But, and I would imagine this is how a lot of men feel, he is glad that he won't be the "go to guy" in these instances. Question to ask him... would he feel the same way if he had a son. I only have daughters and I can imagine I would appreciate the father taking the son questions, but I would certainly deal if approached.

Talking to him again I asked to clarify if it made a difference if he had a son? He had forgotten the conversation.. *sigh* I refreshed his memory and he said "mom of a young woman". A lot of the concerns of young children, male or female are the same, scraped knees, hunger and tantrums, to name a few. As children get older the issues become more sex defined.
I am not into traditional parenting roles for the most part. Whatever has to be done gets done by whatever parent is around, but admittedly I would prefer to leave the boys issues to dad. As I said I only have daughters and as they are both young woman most of the first time sensitive issues are well past us. When my oldest daughter was around 11 she woke up with a stomach ache. My husband thought she was starting her period and paniced a bit. The next day I showed him and my daughter where the "supplies" were kept. As luck would have it, I was around when both girls started.

Emotionally, I have heard, girls are harder to raise. Friends that have boys and girls often say the son is the easier child. Again, I have no idea but can imagine this to be true.

Moms and dads, being genetically wired differently, cope with situations differently whether intended or not. It can't be helped. Of course some moms are "harder" than others and some men are more sensitive than others. In my house I am most assuredly the sensitive one. Luckily the same things don't tend to "bug" us at the same time so one parent is able to deal while the other takes a breather.... but this sometimes leads to parentig arguements. It is bound to happen if both aren't on the "same page."

Hopefully my husband and I can live to survive parenting our two girls to independence, I am not always sure we can.

Are you glad you aren't a mom?


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