Friday, November 13, 2009

Chicken Logic




I have started three blog posts over the last couple days, none of which have made it to the front page. I have one started about all the wonderful awards that my fellow bloggers have given me.. God I love my followers. That didn't sound too egomaniacal did it?

Another blog is about the tv show Glee, I love that show. Quirky, funny and last nights show was so real. The character development is shinning through.

There is also a half written poem somewhere too. If they don't flow out in the beginning chances are it will stay hidden and half written.

Sooooo what to do about this clog in my brain? Who knows...... I have a lot on my mind these days it seems. This happy go lucky blogger you see most of the time [I know I lie too] is really only a front for the real one trying to get out. Sometimes I do, mostly via my poems, but a lot of what is inside me stays there. I should change the title of my blog to "Chicken Logic" cuz that is what I am.

Afraid to speak out. As much as I don't "know" most of you that read my blog, I do know several. Family members and a few RL friends some blogger and internet friends that are like family to me as well. They hold me back lest I be judged. Why should I care...thing is I don't really so what's the problem?

Ok, if you are still with me after that disjointed and rambling opening thanks, it does feel good to get that much out. Now on to what I need to do for myself, what will make me a more open and comfortable with what's inside? It all makes me feel like a poser.

No worries, I will blog along as I usually do, but maybe once in awhile I will let out pieces of me... pieces that make me cry or laugh or squirm.. I don't know just stick with me please and let's see what happens.

I would be interested in what you all do, when at a turning point. What you decide to keep in and what you decide to write about.. I really am interested in your thoughts and ideas.
Thank you..

30 comments :

The Good Cook said...

When I am in a cloud or a funk I find the best thing to do is just be. Stop pushing yourself. Reveal what you want to reveal about yourself. Write it out. If it feels too personal, don't publish it. Writing it out helps though.. at least for me.

Hang in there. If I can help, shoot me an email. No judgements. I have too many faults and shortcomings and anxieties of my own to judge anyone.

Bruce Coltin said...

That which makes you cry or squirm translates to the kind of humanity that gives your writing honesty and rewards your readers the stuff that truly resonates. I hope you do more, not less.

Mr. Condescending said...

Just follow your gut, even if it is filled to the brim with vodka.

JP said...

That's mostly why I've created a seperate persona... so I don't have to worry about what my friends/family think. I know that I write some things on my blog that some people would find uncomfortable... also why I keep my blog private and invite only, although all you have to do is ask for an invite and I'll give it...

You shouldn't be afraid to be yourself.

WhiteSockGirl said...

Like Mr C said above, let your gut do the writing, talking.
I know all about half written whatevers, none of them makes sense.. but then only ,05% of the ish that I wrote, make sense.
Have a martini, or two, and 'gooi' it...
I'm not going to translate that word,.. ask me!

SPEAKING FROM THE CRIB said...

I understand your hesitation. but this is how i look at it - if you REALLY love me, you're gonna love me even after you read the crazy crap that i write. i say let it all hang out - the good, the bad, the ugly. i love me some VL :)

MiMi said...

I once heard that only 30 percent of a blog is true! I don't know if I believe that because I'm very honest and open on my blog. But, I agree with you, there are some family members that read my blog, including my husband and father, so I can't write certain things that I really want to share and get advice on from you all!!!

Joanne said...

I WANNA see the Glee post - *throwing tantrum*!!!

I have a few sitting in edit mode too.

Joanne aka jayjay55 youknowwhere

Moooooog35 said...

I'm pretty much an open book...what you read on my site is me...my persona, my humor...and the hideous, horrible things that happen to me on a minute-by-minute basis.

Thanks for dredging that back up. Appreciate it.

boliyou said...

I constantly have to remind myself that I write my blog for me. It's my outlet and my catchall for things that I find on the Internet that catch my attention or imagination.

It's fun and gratifying when someone else responds to my posts, but in the end it's really about my comfort level.

So, write what you want to read about. It tells people more about you than you'd think.

Tami G said...

you had me at vodka......LOL
Seriously - seen you around and came by to check you out!

my vote is.....put it all out there! Well - that's what I do - to an extent. I'm very open honest & blunt.
(i do hold back a little though - I too have a few RL'ers that cause me to hesitate on subjects)
BUT mostly - what you see on my blog is what you get!

hope you are able to see this through - the more honest stuff - it is nice at times to have a place to release and my bloggy buddies to understand :)

Tami G
*new follower*

SPEAKING FROM THE CRIB said...

i was perusing martinis and diaper genies comments.

hmmmm

otin said...

I will give out just about anything but my social security number! My phone number is on my blog for Christs sake! lol! Hell with hiding shit!

Alicia said...

oh honey...i know how you feel... its so hard because our blogs are such a reflection of us...but i just try and stay true to myself and remember why i started my blog in the first place...if i can't be myself around people then maybe i shouldn't be around then and vice versa...

The Vegetable Assassin said...

I like "Glee" too. I so rarely like network shows (I get easily irritated by all the perfect hair and emoting!) but "Glee" is an escapist breath of fresh air. Amusing, entertaining and musical. Yay for that!

Steven Anthony said...

Boy do I understand....as you know, sometimes I will write something serious from my life, alot of the time not....what I did to helpp was start a new blog that is just for the serious stuff....that way I can keep the fun stuff fun and the derious serious.....make sense? :)

blueviolet said...

There are so many facets to each of our personalities and I think it's good to be true to that.

Adam said...

i have more than a few to get out, but i fear i might get fired. i just found out one of my blog posts stopped me from getting promoted.

go for it girl!

rosie said...

Does it all boil down to basic insecurity? i don't know the answer. i am 53 yrs old, i have a great husband, 2 great kids, a really fun and fruitful career, and yet, i still worry when no one responds to a post i thought was particularly witty, or I feel "left out" of a chat circle of complete strangers. I guess it all somehow boils down to self confidence. we all can put on a "show" of sorts for our cyber friends, but in the end we are still the same awkward teens we were back when. And i guess that's ok. Someday we all need to just be comfortable and secure in our own selves. i just hope it happens before time runs out! A blog is a great way to try to get at it, so i think you should just go for it! reading blogs of people I assume are 100 percent honest with their feelings always feels somewhat theraputic and helps me realize i am not alone in my little world. keep it real!

Tiaras said...

I have so many posts that are sitting , just sitting, I don't know if I will ever post them . . . just crap about my past - that I am past - so not so sure I want it out there when it really doesn't matter to me anymore??

Martinis or Diaper Genies? said...

helloo! I'm sorry I wasn't following before, but I am now!!

PS I know how you feel. I have lots of good stories that I hold back.

Will Burke said...

Just let it all fly, then save it for a day or two. If you still want to Post, let 'er rip! If not, nothing lost

Elizabeth said...

Well, first of all I ADORE Glee also, and loved this week's episode especially. I liked seeing another side to Sue.
What you wrote today about being "chicken" reminds me of a post written by Justine at Stupid is as Sister Does. She is extremely outspoken and real on her blog, but I never realized until she recently started a private blog,all of the things she was holding in. This way her family members and perhaps RL friends don't see it. People had to be invited to read it. I think it's becoming very cathartic for her. It's like having an actual honest journal, but still being able to get feedback from people you trust.

Amanda {My Life Badly Written} said...

I love to read honest blogs and I would like to think I am honest in mine too. Funny I have just written my post today about being overwhelmed at being overwhelmed.

I think you should be as honest as you can be as long as no one gets hurt!

adrienzgirl said...

I LOVE GLEE! It makes me happy.

I'm not sure why others started their blogs, but I honestly started mine to get in the habit of writing. Not for others, but for myself. It has morphed a bit from the beginning but I write what I think. When you start to worry about how others might take your words, and edit based on readership, I think you lose a little of the essence of you. We might not agree. You might lose some readers, but in the end, those who stick with you, you will know honestly appreciate who you are.

One Cluttered Brain said...

you are quite the popular one! I decided to follow you. You seem to be before me in comments on almost every blog I read. So you are in my reader now so there!

LOVE your header! :) Draws much attention I'm sure.

Gloria said...

I've never heard of Glee but I'll try to download it. Have to rely on lots of downloading, living here in the mountains of Andalucia.

I too have lots of posts lying around just waiting to see the light of day. Somehow I seem to think that nobody will be interested but so far I've proved myself wrong so why do I still have over 50 posts just waiting, sitting there begging to be published? Hubby says, publish and be damned but still I hold back. Still can't figure it but I'll let you know when I do!!!

Sandy said...

I could have written this post! Except for the part about Glee. Haven't seen anything but the trailers.

I don't put everything out here as much as some but that's just me. I do have family, clients and RL friends who read it so I do censor myself just a bit.

But when I do let out something personal or troublesome, I find it cathartic.

Keep doing what you're doing, it's great.

carma said...

fortunately only 4 people that I know in real life know about my blog. Unfortunately two of the people are my parents, which really limits my content!!! therefore I stick to more lighthearted topics. Such as poker. :D

Frugal Vicki said...

Really, when I am in a funk, I just step away for a bit, a day or two. Or I spend my time commenting and visiting other blogs. But if the funk is caused by a personal problem, I usually write about it to whatever extent I can. Usually helps quite a bit.