Friday, September 18, 2009

But I Don't Wanna Go....

"But I don't wanna go" is coming from my youngest daughter today. She doesn't want to go to New York City with us next weekend. Seems it is homecoming at the high school. There are only two dances a year and that weekend is one of them. She loves her dances. Not sure why, I always thought they were HS hell. My girl friends and I would go and dance together but basically it wasn't much fun.

I am seriously considering letting her stay home with the husband who is going to keep painting the house if the weather is good. The last thing I want is a whining teenager hanging off me and moping around. She is still thinking about it, and I think she feels a bit guilty for not wanting to come but she is old enough to decide and some alone time with her father could be a good thing as they can often be like oil and water.

I will miss her if she doesn't come, like her sister she has a great sense of humor and is a lot of fun. A souvenier will be in order if she does stay home. I really don't want to force her to come along. If things turn to misery with her father the texts will be endless and frustrating. The alone time I had with the youngest when we went to Indiana was great, perhaps it is K's turn.

What would you do?

31 comments :

Lisa Anne said...

IDK, I'm just a "softie" MOm. I would let her stay home to go to the dance. I think dances are a crucial part of the socialization process of HS. It's tough enough socializing in school these days.

But that's just me.

But then again, how could she not want to go to NY. Did you bribe her with all the great shopping that comes with NY? LOL She might change her mind.

Lora said...

Tell you what, *I* will come to NY for her! lol

Visiting you from SITS--have a great day!

Vodka Logic said...

When we went to Indiana, she wants to go to Game Stop. There are 4 in our city lol..
She is very social with her friends and I am leaning towards letting her stay home.

Meagan said...

It sounds like the perfect situtaion! Let her stay home. Your husband will be there. She is going to a high school dance and I can't believe its only one of two they have! All high school girls are like oil and water with their fathers. Allow her this freedom and decision and hopefully the rebellion won't be as bad as it could be.

blueviolet said...

I'd let her stay home. The social part of high school is so important to them and so I can understand her feelings. I'd let her out of it in a way that eliminates any guilt she might feel about not going too.

Lone Star Queen said...

Definetely let her stay and go to homecoming. I know it's difficult to let go of your baby and face the fact that she would rather hang out with friends than Mom but you need to go ahead and get used to it. If you don't you may end up getting a puppy everytime one of the kids move out like I did.

The Vegetable Assassin said...

I'd let her stay home too. It's important when you're that age, all this peer group interaction, and she'd still be home with an adult so no worries. Plus it'll give you and your other daughter some great one on one quality time together which will be great too. Plus if you force a teen to do something they don't want to, you end up with misery. :)

Joanne said...

I would absolutely let her stay home but make her sign something about no complaining no whining and only texts that have smiles attached.

Alone time with oldest will be precious.

Jan said...

I agree with Joanne 100% on this. Let her stay home, but also let her know there will be no whining to you until you get home.

Steven Anthony said...

I say let her stay home, and u adopt me, boys are much less trouble than girls..at least my mom always said so:)

peace

AudreyO said...

I would let her stay home. Sorry, but a weekend with an unhappy teen is not appealing. LOL

Betty Manousos:cutand-dry.blogspot.com said...

Speak to her for one more time,and maybe she changes her mind. If not, then let her stay home. In any cace do not force her.
Xo xo

The Good Cook said...

I would let her make her own decision. Tell her she will be missed but it is okay for her to want to go to her homecoming dance. You're only in high school once and NY will be here for a long time!

Captain Dumbass said...

I'd invite me instead.

Miss Behavin said...

She's in highschool and there's a dance? Wow! That's kind of a big deal for girls her age. I'd probably just let her stay home with her Dad and attend the dance with her friends.

Amethyst Moon said...

I would definitely let her stay home, because if she is like my teens, she would just act miserable and make your weekend awful. So you go have your fun and let her have hers, although NYC sounds like more fun then a dance.

Becca said...

My mom always let my sister and I stay home if that was what we wanted. My sister had a ton of weekend activities and at this point, she has excluded herself so much some people don't even know her lol

Becca said...

My mom always let my sister and I stay home if that was what we wanted. My sister had a ton of weekend activities and at this point, she has excluded herself so much some people don't even know her lol

Samantha Gianulis said...

I always thought that when my kids got to that age, and they were good kids, I'd let them have some autonomy.
This may change in the next five minutes.

Will Burke said...

Wow, you have a lot of freinds here! From what I've heard from freinds, this could be a valuable life lesson: If she's hung-over the next morning, Hubby can vacuum at 7:30, and no one else get's disturbed!
Cheers!

Stephanie Faris said...

Depends. There are times when they need to learn that sometimes they have to do things in life they don't want to...and times for them to be able to assert their independence. Of course, I don't have kids, just a boyfriend with a 9-year-old, but you reminded me of my h.s. homecoming dance. By then it wasn't "cool" to show up at the dance, but a friend and I didn't get the memo on that and went to one. We were two of maybe a dozen people there?

WhisperingWriter said...

She doesn't want to GO?

But it's...NEW YORK!!!

My Mom would have forced me to go. She made me go to Scotland, which I know sounds amazing but to a teenager, it was just green and blah. I was a total pain but Mom just ignored it.

JennyMac said...

I will go in her place in 2 minutes flat. I totally get her desire to make her own choices and I LOVE NYC.

Works out great for everyone!!! LOL.

Sadiebug and her Mom said...

Homecoming at my high school wasn't just about the dance, it was a major social event. I'd say let her go because it makes her more comfortable in the day to day social circles. And make plans to go to NYC when she's older and ready geared up for it.

Dorkys Ramos said...

I'd just let her stay instead of coming to the city all pouty and not enjoying the experience. Hopefully she'll get the chance to visit another time!

Alice in Wonderland said...

I'd let her stay at home with Dad! Sometimes I think that it's a good idea to let them know just what us women go through!
No whinging though!
Have you room for a little one on your visit? I'm not doing anything!
LOL!

WhiteSockGirl said...

The dance! Let her stay and go to the dance. I remember when I was a teenager, every dance was THE dance. Sigh. How dramatic!

I am sure she would get another chance to get to NY.

Lynn from For Love or Funny said...

Since she'll be at home with your hubby, why not? It's a win win solution. She'll be happy, she'll be grateful to you, and you'll have room to bring along your bloggy friends!! I'll start to pack...

Kristen said...

Either way...have fun in NY!

Quarter Thrower said...

what would i do?

i would go and have fun!

Days of Whine & Noses said...

My oldest just started high school this year and we've been talking about homecoming...she's not sure she's going yet. She says her friends have boyfriends and she doesn't want to go alone. I told her to go with freinds who don't have boyfriends which she says those friends do not exist (she's trying to make me feel bad for not allowing her to have a boyfriend at 14)I'm ok with a DATE but not boyfriend