Idling

Is it all up to you
The way things go.
Do you talk?
Or do you just say no.

Idling by,
Wondering my fate.
Waiting for answers
Is it too late.

Never the one,
To be in charge.
Wanting my turn,
Feeling at large.

Friendships, life,
Are about give and take.
But you I feel,
Are just a fake.

Drawn in too often,
By your wit and charm.
Hard to resist,
Do you see the harm?

Not sure why,
My mind to purge.
Of what brings me down,
The negative urge.

A recurring theme
For me I know.
I want to get past it.
The attitude, the bad flow.

Real friends remind me,
When you see me down.
How life's a joy.
And not a perpetual frown