Try to ignore me,
I won't go away.
I am a stalker,
I will not give way.

Born to follow,
And sneak around.
Don't try to avoid me,
My tactics abound.

Lessons I have learned,
As I track my prey.
Run if you must,
I am here to stay.

Don't worry about me,
I will cause no harm.
I'm not a 300 lb lurker,
Don't sound the alarm.

I sit in my office,
Or sometimes the bar.
Just come and talk to me,
You'll see I am a star.

To all of the stalkers,
Out and about.
There's a meeting at eight,
At a bar, no doubt.

Put on your disguises,
And show you're really cool.
The drinks on the house,
Don't be late, I'll save a stool.